Home BLOG This Week In Non News: Britney Can’t Sing and Angelina Did Drugs.

This Week In Non News: Britney Can’t Sing and Angelina Did Drugs.

written by lucyfreyakorn July 10, 2014

by Lucy Korn

Shocking news that isn’t really shocking at all.

Today the Internet freaked because an un-Auto-Tuned audio of Britney Spear’s new single Alien was leaked. As you can probably guess it’s terrible, really terrible. So terrible that I think that I could have done a better job and guys, that’s really saying something because I cannot sing.

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But are we surprised? Everyone already knows Brit is more performer than artist and it’s no big deal, it’s why we love her isn’t it? Why she has her own Vegas show and why everyone loved watching her on X Factor or American Idol or whatever that was. So what if she can’t sing she’s Britney, Bitch.

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In other non news, Angelina Jolie’s ex drug dealer/all round shit person Franklin Meyer sold his ‘shocking’ home video of Angelina Jolie in a ‘Dirty Drug Den.’ The National Enquirer had the ‘world exclusive’ on it and a whole bunch of other news outlets picked it up because of course they did.

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The video isn’t shocking at all though because a) everyone already knows she used to do heroin etc because she told the world years ago and b) All she’s doing in the vid is talking on the phone about how her mum has no money or something. And as for the ‘dirty drug den’ I think most people would call that an apartment.

Gah, people these days.

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